When the Cross Is Falling Off the Wall

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!

How unsearchable his judgments, and His paths beyond tracing out!

Romans 11:33 NIVUK

Yesterday was a rough day.  The kids were grumpy, and the adults were too.  Nobody wanted to go to our usual Tuesday tasks.  The dog even barked and seemed agitated yesterday at the bus stop causing a bit of chaos and an early exit with me.  It was a hurried morning at the house.  The kids boarded the bus without me because of the naughty dog, and my husband had departed for work early.  I jumped in my car as well to do my morning commute across town to my part time job.  Sometimes we need the cross.

However, yesterday a decorative red tin cross literally fell off the wall as the morning unfolded.  We have been re-arranging wall decor at our house, or should I say I have been re-arranging.  Who am I kidding?  I live in a house of two boys and one sweet man… none of whom really care what is on the walls.

The walls in our master bathroom were recently painted as a part of a Honey Do that I know my sweet spouse knew I wanted done.  He did it this past Saturday morning on Mother’s Day weekend with my permission.  He also gifted me glorious flowers shipped in from Ecuador (secretly purchased from Costco)…hint hint if you need a gift.   And, he treated me to a beautiful Saturday evening and Sunday morning with my side of the family.  A busy but awesome weekend was followed by the not so pleasurable Monday morning mayhem.

After the cross fell off of the wall because it was poorly re-hung by me.  The queen of throwing up nails wherever I please realized this habit is not really a good thing.  I have many pictures yet to be hung.

When we hang up things haphazardly they will fall.  They will damage the stucco, create holes that need filling, and may just not look quite level.  In taking almost everything off of the walls in three rooms I have seen how much “decor stuff” we have.

It is all special to me, but some of it doesn’t really fit the spaces.  I like the bare walls.  “It kind of feels like we’re going to move,” my husband pointed out.  However, perhaps we need to “move” decor even if not our physical selves/home after five years here.  We like freshness and newness.  My friend Sarah W. often shares on social media that she craves newness too, and she actually does move her furniture/decor around often.  I have followed suit, and it is really fun and prompts me to enjoy spring cleaning.

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So, as I clean this year around the house I will rejoice even if the cross falls off of the wall.  I can re-hang it.  Likewise Christ can re-hang and rearrange our day to day happenings.  Things will fall apart, break, or need to be re-framed, but He can re-do our days into spaces of beauty only He can dream up for us.

Dear God,

Thank you for being a Re-creator.

Forgive me when I try to slap together beauty.

Only You know the true beauty that lies inside each of us.

Help me see that beauty around me and in my kids, husband, friends, etc.

I have a critical eye.  Change my eyes to be more grace filled.

Amen.

p.s. Join me in giving to this cause today:  http://sheispriceless.org/

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I’m Not Afraid Anymore

I’m not afraid of depression or anxiety anymore.  I have learned that the fear of failure is okay.  In finding peace with myself, my Savior, and with my emotions I became more confident and calm.

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This blog is about grace.  I was asked last night by Amy, a new woman I met, “What do you blog about?”

I told her…”I have a faith based blog, but I write about our family, capture memories, and write about whatever I feel like really.”

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Today, I rose before dawn per usual.  I took some photographs around the house to test out new photography info I gleaned last night on a mom’s night out dinner.  The manual mode of our good camera is not something I have played with before, but I did it today!  Now, I link this post with other Five Minute Friday bloggers.  We write on Fridays for five minutes on a prompt word.  This week: “Fear.”

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I was a bit fearful during childhood.  I did not like new situations…so I would suck my thumb, then converted to biting my nails, and continued with anxiety into adulthood.  I covered it up pretty well then and now.  We all like to hide the broken aspects of our personality.  Here, I’m free to write how I feel and see myself.  I can even zoom up on the cracks that I now view as beautiful parts of the way God made me.  I’m an introverted analytical girl.  I think about the details of everything and everyone.  I analyze others and myself.  I look carefully and ponder the feelings within text, nature, and people.  Do you?

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I used to be afraid of being a good enough wife and mother.  I still have fleeting thoughts tied into that, but again, that is who I am.  I have found a place of grace.  I can say to myself:  “I’m a good mom.”  “I’m a good wife.”  “I’m a good friend.”  “I’m a good sister and daughter.”  I’m good because God made me in His image.  He is good…therefore WE are good.  YOU are good.

Dear God,

You are good, full of grace, and love unconditionally.

Forgive me when I don’t show the good side of me, am stingy on grace, or love with a contrite spirit.

Thank you for showing me that broken is beautiful, and in our brokenness we find more of You.

When we admit that we cannot do today on our own we let You show us your face in others, experiences, and in the images that are good in this world. 

May we count our gifts of grace today.

Amen.


A cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick.


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p.s. This Bible verse does NOT mean that you may not need medicine.  I take medicine daily and it helps my broken mind become whole, lovely, and healthy.  I used to fear the side effects, but now I embrace the good effects.  If you struggle with anxiety, depression, or any other feelings that seem to big to bear…pray to God, talk to a counselor, and seek medical advice on what medicines, blood work, exercise, and/or diet may be right for you.  We are each unique.  My story is only one…mine.
p.p.s. Trying out a new feature recommended by Dan @fistbumpmedia: click to tweet.