I Dare to Tell the Truth

Truthful lips endure for ever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
Do you dare to tell the truth?  I do.  Here are five minutes of writing by me on true words this week…
A young mom enters my speech therapy office with her two year old: “Oh honey don’t pick your nose.”
Me: “It’s okay.  We all do.”

A perfect mother.:
Our dog in a cone post neutering.
Me in my head: “Great.  We have a special needs dog now.  I have to adapt how we hold him, and how we feed him.” 
I was able to move his food from bowels to plates and now he can eat and drink independently.  Apparently he no longer wants to poop or pee outdoors though.  And, we have to hold him by his sides or hind legs gingerly to move him up or down steps or to our laps.  Seven days of the cone…oh my heart.

Our other heart struggle and joy are our own two sons.  Picture this…two boys lounging on couches on screens ages seven and ten years:  One on Zelda Wii U, and the other on his tablet playing games.
Me: “Boys you need to take a screen break.”
Them: no response for 5-10 minutes
Me: “Boys it is now 4:30 p.m. so you have relaxed on screens for about an hour.  Please take a break when you get to a stopping point in your games.”
Them: no response for 45+ minutes
Me: I talk with my boss on the phone, switch a load of laundry, put in a new load of laundry, defrost chicken for dinner, and try to breath deeply through the stresses of my own stuff.

I make lists on paper.  I try to get Medicaid certification online.  Our state IT system for renewal is not cooperating.  Or, am I not using it right?  I make another 1-800 call and email the system for the 10th + time in the past three months.  I also call my boss back two times to ask questions and let her know I’m working on the issue so we can both get paid for my speech services over the next year.  It is now 5:20 p.m.
Quote designed by: Katie Carranza, Click above to link to an Article for New Moms.

Me calling the boys again this time yelling loudly: “Get off your screens boys!  It is now 5:20.  Do your homework (Bryan) and a chore (Addison).  Your laundry needs to be put away boys.  I wash and dry and fold.  YOU put it away!”

Them: “Huff. Puff.  Ugh.  Okay.”
Addison: storms off to his room after ending his Zelda time
Bryan: “Mom, I’m so sorry.  What do you need me to do?  Homework.  I have one page left and one problem on the front.”  He gathers his stuff together and gets to work at the kitchen table.  After I sit with him doing math homework he goes to his room and puts away his laundry in 5 minutes or less.
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Addison returns with a bucket of dirty laundry.  I asked if the other was put away.  He said,  “Yes, this is the new dirty stuff.”  Mind you I just did all of his laundry on Monday.  It is now Thursday and somehow he has a 3/4 full laundry basket?!  What in the heck is going on here.  Oh God help me.  I love them.  I love them.  I love them.  (in my head).

Dear God,
You are with us in ALL things and ALL moments.
Forgive us when we forget You in the midst of stress and frustration.
Help me re-center my thoughts and phrase my words with peace, love, and kindness.
Give me the energy for another day as a mom, wife, friend, maid, etc. 
Amen.


#INFJ:
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Do Your Best

My parents growing up would tell my sister and me to “do your best.”  I have heard that so many times.  The Boy Scouts of America even uses it as a motto/slogan.  I like it, but I do not love it.  It has a very big expectation if your mind is very big in its wanderings.

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In my young and older brain this “do your best” slogan has impacted me greatly.  When I was young I would truly try to do everything perfectly.  I was a rule driven and compliant child.  I was a “goody two shoes” or “Brown Noser.”  The teachers and my parents loved me.  However, I was not always “popular” with my peers.

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Sadly peers can be mean.  We can also be self-damaging in our own heads.  Over time, I really did not want to “do my best.”  I was exhausted from performing to the highest expectations of others.  As an adult wife and mother I have created a motto for my own life in my head and heart.  “Be Okay with B or C work.”  I don’t have to be a straight A student anymore.  I never really did have to be.  My parents would have loved me as much as they do now (a huge love) no matter what grades I had received.  But at the time, when I was younger I though that my best was As and that is what I got from K-College.  I only deviated once with an A- in English Lit during my BS at the University.  I don’t think this matters except that I want to share with you the reader, and with myself reading and writing this to process it all.

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I recently told another high achieving mom that “it is okay to give B or C work.”  Just pass.  Be okay with failures and imperfection.  We walked for an hour that night, and we did talk therapy about how being a wife and mother is quite hard.  We want to “do it well.”  We want to “do our best.”  However, reality is that if we want to be a well-balanced and happy adult we have to be okay with imperfection and know that we all make mistakes.  In allowing myself to make mistakes I’m more inclined to accept the mistakes of others.  My husband and kids will fall short from my expectations as will I in their eyes.


Today’s the day to “Be OK with B and C work.” 


“Don’t be so hard on yourself.  I can bring good even out of your mistakes.  Your finite mind tends to look backwards, longing to undo decisions you have come to regret. 

This is a waste of time & energy, leading only to frustration.  Instead of floundering in the past, release your mistakes to Me.  Look to Me in trust, anticipating that My infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design.”

Romans 8:28, Sarah Young’s interpretation in Jesus Calling, May 9

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Romans 8:28 The Message (MSG)

26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

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Dear God,

You are working for good in us and others.

Forgive us when we only see the mistakes.

Give us peace and grace to go forward to love ourselves and others no matter what.

Your Spirit is in us to help us through each day.

Amen.

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