Last Sunday I had a meltdown. Full on church went great then rest of the day seemingly went on a downhill slide. I became short tempered with our kids who bemoaned a trip to get gas at Costco after church let out. Seriously…it’s a 15 minute ride to get gas which is a necessity when you drive around a lot. My husband listened to me vent about our ungrateful children’s attitudes then talked with them one on one about how we need to be grateful and kind.
I, myself continued the day, with my own version of being ungrateful and unkind. I started complaining about the indoor paint project taking so long and not knowing how to re-hang photos/art. I didn’t think our furniture matched the new walls. I was whining about every aspect of the project I ASKED HIM to START.
He listened. He sat outside alone. I ventured out to apologize and continue my rant. I left in anger back to our room to take a shower and “Cool down.” I laid on our bed to rest. I was a mess ya’ll. My husband came to check on me and I balled crying and explained that “I feel like a melting candle. I cannot do everything anymore. I don’t want to do the weekly shopping. I want to get a job outside of motherhood so we have more income…I don’t know where to start and feel like stopping or running away.”
My husband listened. He looked me in the eyes. He said he loved me. He encouraged me. He went and did the weekly shopping while I rested. He painted the hard to reach wall behind the washer and dryer. He loved me with words and deeds. He didn’t have to, but he did. He helped me see the light in myself so that I could rally for family dinner and game night even when I didn’t feel good. Depression and anxiety are real boogers. As are hormones and ungrateful hearts—enemies I tell ya. I appreciated his steady appreciation for me.
I love you. I thank you. I hope you can read this some time amidst your very hectic schedule of meetings and problem solving another meltdown–this time a computer system not me.
Love you always,
Linking with Five Minute Friday–Loved.