At the Cusp of Thirteen Years of Motherhood


I am realizing that I am at the cusp of being a mother for THIRTEEN years!  How did time go so quickly?  Our son was born in the summer of 2006 and three summers later we had our second son in the summer of 2009.  Coming up on the year 2019, we have parented children for 13 years.

We’re passing the dozen mark, and we are entering the teenage years with our son.  He has already entered into the tween/teen angst and can carry on conversations about adult topics.  We struggle with his combative attitude at times, but sometimes we laugh about his wit.  Nine days out of ten he is calm and collected, but that one day out of ten–watch out.  We’ll hit a challenge.

Teaching sons to control their anger. One of the best pieces of advice I've heard as a mother of sons is that one of your most important jobs as mom is to help your son learn how to name and later, articulate, their feelings.

Parenting is an ongoing challenge.  We have acknowledged that there are compromises and moments where we have to kick our sons out of the “Garden of Eden.”  This is a concept we embraced from John Rosemond, a parenting guru and psychologist.  We sin.  Human nature means we make bad choices at time.  Our thoughts and words can become unkind.  I’m guilty of anger too.  How do we parent an angry child?

"All the love in the world cannot make up for a lack of leadership in a child's life." ~ John Rosemond

We act with grace and firmness.  Today we will also take him to a counselor.  Our whole family needs to get ready and go.  Our family will sit in the waiting room, we will fill out paperwork, and we will meet a woman who has 35 years of experience working with kids and teens.  It took 7-10 phone calls to find someone with the specialty of kids/teens and someone who is on our insurance plan.  There were 3-4 that I was okay with.  So I have kept that pared down list handy in case today’s lady doesn’t work out.  All of the other top 3 do not take insurance.  I am blessed that my husband and I both value healthy living, and we can pay the price-tag that these services cost.

These efforts are a part of the cusp of thirteen years of motherhood.  I understand that changing moods are natural.  I see a counselor, and I see that our high achieving son also needs one to talk to that is not mom or dad all the time.  He, and we, need to figure out how to manage our moods of anxiety, depression, and anger.  Calling in the professionals is waving the white flag of hope and peace.

Dear God,

You have created us unique, and you give us free will to choose how we react to moods.  Forgive me for my poor reactions to some moods–others and my own.  Thank you for helping us see and accept that our sons need gentleness and grace to change bad moods.  Please help us find the right counselor to support our 12 year old in this journey of maturing into a young man.  Many families keep these struggles private and hunker down to correct the hard stuff within their family unit.  I believe in reaching out to others and sharing the good, bad, and ugly.  Admitting that we need to pray to you more Lord, God as well.  We love you.  We thank you for today. Help me on the mood roller coaster.

Amen.

Prayer quotes: Just pray & be thankful

Linking up with fiveminutefriday.com.

 

 

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Categories parenthood

3 thoughts on “At the Cusp of Thirteen Years of Motherhood

  1. I so appreciate your honesty and transparency, Jennifer. You are wise to help your son by finding a counselor to help him with his moods and anger. Both of our boys have seen a counselor, and it can be a very effective thing for them. May God bless and guide you as you prepare to embark into the teen years.

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  2. You have shown great wisdom in recognising that sometimes our kids need someone else to talk to and work through things. Good on you for seeking help! It has been a journey that we have already had to go on with my 6 year old. Your neighbour at FMF this week.

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  3. That is a very honest and helpful approach. Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone who is not a blood relative. I hope this lady works out for you. God will put the right person in your life.

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