Visit with me mom.
They don’t say it, but they mean it.
When our eight year old or five year old son growls when I leave their bedroom after the tucking in time…
Stay longer mom. Visit with me. That’s what the growl or the look means to me.
I recently finished the book “Wild Things The Art of Nurturing Boys” by James and Thomas. It was outstanding. One of the key points I learned that I kind of already knew…but they put into words was this: Know when to step in. Know when to step out.
At bedtime your sons (and daughters) are vulnerable and tender. They often like you tuck them in with a story, prayers, and short visit. At least our sons seems to love it (and we as parents do too). The time is short some nights, and sometimes I find I spend a bit longer. Our eight (almost nine) year old son doesn’t say much to me during the day…but at night. He opens up some deep thoughts. He has big questions, stories to share, and his wisdom and tenderness are darling. I love these nights.
I know when to step in.
I’m not so good at the stepping out. We women like to visit, to chat. Boys not so much. When our sons are angry I want to talk them through it…hug them…and often I’m met with resistance. Learning from this book…I realize now they need space. I have to step out so they can sort through their feelings. Know when to step in. Know when to step out.
Thank you for stepping IN to my life at a young age through my parent’s and church. I grew up always knowing you. That is a blessing. You also gave me the gift of free will. You allow us to step in or step out of your presence. Forgive me when I step out of it and don’t allow you to visit with me. You are Our Father. You want to be with us, and you always are. We are stubborn creatures that have to grow up and recognize that without You we are weak, but when we visit with You in prayer and love our families well…You are in our midst. ‘