Waiting to Feel Good

Waiting to feel good…

For many months and years I struggled with anxiety and depression.  I still struggle with anxiety from time to time, but I know how to rein it in.  I also know how to pray more, breathe more, and take my medicine faithfully.

Anxiety and Depression are awful…they truly make you feel worthless, sad, crazy, fearful, tired, stressed, and silly.  However, there are so many people that struggle with feelings of anxiousness or depressed moods.  These feelings can be related to hormonal imbalance, life events, and sometimes for no good reason at all.

The reason I post about waiting today is because I realized in talking to one of my best childhood friends today on the phone (I’ve been waiting for her to call me back for months)…I am done waiting to be happy.  I am at a happy place.  I like my job, I feel healthy, active, I know who my friends are, I know I’m a good mom, and my marriage feels good too.

We go through such trials in life…and sometimes those trials involve waiting…

Waiting for babies to grow so they sleep more and eat more.

Waiting for our husband/spouse to find the right job.

Waiting for the seasons to change.

Waiting for a child to be born/conceived.

Waiting for healing.

Waiting for the day to be over so you can just go to sleep and rest…for tomorrow to be better.  Some days we do wait.  We wait with patience sometimes and at other times with anxiousness.  However, when we accept help, greet the day with determination, and choose to love ourselves and others…we eventually wait no longer.

We find our happy place.

Dear God,

Thank you for the realization that I’m in a good place today…this week…this year.

Forgive me for those times I doubted things would ever get better.

Give me eyes to see others who need encouragement, and give these words to the women and men that need to hear…you are not alone.  Struggles are okay.

Help us to wait for the good days knowing that You are with us every step of the way.

Amen.

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16 thoughts on “Waiting to Feel Good

  1. Oh Jenn! What a beautiful post! This resonated with me profoundly, and I deeply honor you sharing your heart in this way. I certainly can relate to feeling anxious and depressed at times, exasperated from always being the ‘new girl’. But you are so right, oftentimes there is not an outside cause. I needed to read this article today, thank you. We do so often deny the present moment and rent out our happiness for a future date. I love the inclusion of the prayer at the bottom.

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    1. In moving I know the ‘new girl’ feeling all to well…that is why when I met you that day at the fountain I could feel that sweet spirit of friendship offered…mom to mom and introvert to bold introductions. It is in courage we create new experiences and relationships! 🙂

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  2. Hello Jennifer,

    Thank you so much for choosing to be a part of the five minute Friday link up this week. It truly is a blessing to have been able to post behind you and read your post today. I never thought I’d be one to struggle with these same feelings you described. To be honest just the thought of spelling them out and saying them is painful. Thank you for your honest and vulnerable post and for the prayer you added at the end. This was a sweet gift today, a little kiss from Jesus himself on my cheek. Thank you Jennifer.

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    1. I prayed before writing. I did not want to share this…and yet when I post those hard truths and private sides i get more comments so God is in these gifts of grace typed to you and for me.

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  3. Great truth. I have never dealt with depression, but sometimes on days when everything seems to be going wrong I get pretty low. And it is hard. You are a good mom. Those words mean so much and for such a long time I didn’t believe them about myself. So glad you are able to see the truth.

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  4. LIke you, I’ve struggled with feeling anxious and waiting. The happy parts of life are right in front of me but it’s not enough so I wait for the next thing. Thanks for sharing what’s on your heart. And thank you for the reminder that it’s okay to struggle. Have a blessed day!

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  5. I like your words, “I am done waiting to be happy.” There is so much in the here and now to appreciate! We are not promised tomorrow anyway. Yes, I’m sure there are good things to wait for, but if that time never comes, there is good now to celebrate.

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    1. T-Thank you for this comment. I am thankful for this time of contentment, and in looking back I realize what He has accomplished through me and in me. We each have such a journey…so personal…so powerful. Blessings to you too friend! J

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    1. S-Thank you for your encouraging words. I find that the more transparent I am the more it resonates with readers. Thank you for reminding me of this. Have a wonderful weekend! FMF friend, J

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    1. C-I “reflect His love like the moon from the sun!?” YES! I have achieved a little light of mine moment! I find in writing the most raw and personal posts I find more comments and resonation with readers. God is so good. I pray you have a wonderful weekend! Love, J

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  6. Jennifer,
    how much you are glorifying our God with your words today/night! Truly, His hand is on you and His word in your life. I rejoice with you in your choice to choose joy and to embrace today and where He has you right now! You are present and worth so much to those around you right now. The enemy is defeated when you lift your eyes above the “not yet” and enjoy the “right now”.
    Just as Paul learned to be content, it sounds like you have learned the joy of waiting! 🙂
    Love and hugs,
    Tammy
    (I’m in your snail mail group, so so super excited!!)
    And, my fmf was pretty late, so I’m way down at 115 this time. 🙂

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    1. T-
      Thank you for stopping by my blog! I will hop over to your next. I am so glad you came to share your heart and that we are in the same snail mail group…even greater! I was thinking of Paul as I wrote this, and often as I continue my struggles…some things are given to us to create a dependence on Him alone. Realizing that only in Him do we find true strength. Have a blessed weekend! Thanks for the virtual hugs! 🙂 Jenn

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