Yesterday, I became what Lysa Terkeurst would title: “Unglued.” I am reading her book now, and I had a very angry mom moment yesterday. The kids needed a bath, and I had supervised the water running and bathing. My husband was out cutting the lawn. The boys (nearly 7 and 4 years old) wanted some play time, and they are both swimmers so we don’t hesitate giving them some privacy to play. I darted off to the kitchen to clean up the flour mess in the kitchen.
We had just cut out rolled sugar cookies, a major feat because I’m really not a talented baker. I had never attempted homemade sugar cookies before without another skilled baker’s help. They turned out amazing, and I was feeling good about that. The flour mess all over the kitchen table and flour…not such a big fan.
However, I was calm, collected, let the kids enjoy there flour baking mess. I was ready to sponge down the table (took like seven goes). Then swept the floor. In about an hour we were having a House Party for Hot Wheels Spin Shotz so I thought it would be fun to have circle cookies for the kids to go with the circle spinners we’d be trying out.
Back to check on the kids…I’m shocked…in a matter of minutes they have two of MY newly purchased (quite expensive) bubble bath and massage oil in the bath tub. They totally emptied them…playing away! WOW! I got angry. I told them how upset and sad I was. These were mine, expensive, chemicals, not to be touched etc. But, they are kids.
After my tirade, today (and later yesterday) I realized that it wasn’t “eternally” significant. I had left those things in reach…my bad. No one got hurt, and bath stuff is replaceable. My ever amazing husband created consequences: 1. When I accrue enough “treat” money from items typically purchased at the grocery store, then I can re-buy my bath items and the boys enter back into cookie, candy heaven. 2. Boys cannot use our master (big, fun, jetted bath) until he says so. I’m hoping for a long term ban (months, years, forever!?)
Later yesterday, when we had that above mentioned Spin Shotz party…
Addison, our oldest, took his older boy friends back to his room to create their own track in private away from the little kids. A few moms went with to watch, and I hung out with others in the main room helping the little preschoolers share and make their tracks. When I went back to check the big boys, I was in awe…I caught the tail end of my son’s own “unglued” moment. It wasn’t his first or last of the day. You, see someone touched HIS stuff.
He got angry because he didn’t want the boys touching his Lego creations, and he reiterated that it was a “Spin Shotz party NOT a Lego party….” And, so it goes. Later, my youngest was whining and fussing about sharing his spinner. It was HIS.
We don’t like to share. However, God shares richly with us, and it really isn’t OUR stuff. Everything we have is HIS. Our tongues included. I really like Terkeurst’s book “Unglued” because she talks about taming the tongue and our emotions. One of her quotes appears here:
More importantly God calls us not to stay angry. Apparently it is okay to be angry…Christ was angry at times, God most definitely has been angry. However, according to His Word we must not sin in our anger…
New International Version (NIV)
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
We did not let the sun go down on our anger at house. There are consequences for our actions, for our sin. However, I always tell my children…”I love you and I forgive you.” When we screw up…this is ultimately what we want and need to hear.
As adults we come to our Father with our sins, and He gives us grace. As a work in progress, I hope I can be more grace giving and less angry with others. We can speak “truthfully” without hurting others feelings. We can be upset without being unrealistic.